Why churches are failing

Two thousand years ago when Jesus died on the cross he didn't intend for his church to be filled with people who were backstabbing and hateful towards each other. If you read the book of Acts you will find a clear description of how the church should be, but that's not at all how it is.

There's a reason why Kim Gatlin wrote the book Good Christian Bitches. It wasn't because she made up a totally fictitious situation. No, Good Christian Bitches includes a grain of truth that is destroying the church from the inside out.

It is a sad fact that Christians treat other people badly. You might find a few Christians who are nice, but an overwhelming number are mean. Our city raises money to help clothe children who's parent's don't make much money. We were raising money and asking friends for a donation when one person who claims to be very much a Christian went off on us. She told the entire group that she wouldn't help those lazy people who are on welfare and if they wanted clothes for their children then they should get off their butts and work.

The thing is that many of the families receiving donations have both parents working. They just don't make enough money. Yes, I believe that people should try to work. I think that doing what you can to support your family gives you a sense of accomplishment. Bettering yourself is one of the hallmarks of success, but sometimes we all need a little help. The attitude that this woman showed is far from anything Christ wanted from his people or from his church. This woman displayed the type of attitude that proves to nonbelievers that the Christian church is full of hypocrites.

All too often Christian women are backstabbers, being nice to your face and then speaking hateful words about you behind your back. Whats worse is that our kids are watching. Your children know that you are being a hypocrite when you speak nice to someone then get in the car after church and say hateful things about the same person you were just playing nice to. Being a hypocrite does nothing good for you or for the church.

Christian parents treat their children worse than they would treat a dog. The parents are rude and inconsiderate to their children. They treat their children as pets or projects, never once being understanding or loving unless their child behaves the way the parent demands.

Too many Christian parenting techniques are nothing more than torture for the children. A few of the most heinous are Growing Kids God's Way which encourages the parent to hit the child with a wooden spoon and to force a toddler to stay in a high chair for hours until the child eats all of his food. The cult of Growing Kids God's Way believers are quick to defend their idol worship of this technique, but even Ezzo's own children cite the program has problems and has cut off their relationship with their parents. Another abusive child raising method is To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl. The Pearl's method is nothing short of abuse.

There is a reason why so many children brought up in church don't want anything to do with the hypocritical way they were raised. According to a Time magazine article 61% of Evangelical's children are leaving the church. Parent's who use these so called Christian parenting methods are abusers. Their children know they were abused and when see the loving God that Christians read about in the bible they can't reconcile it with the abusive way their parents raised them. Christian parents think they are doing things right by going to church and bible study but they are unbelievably rude to those they should be the nicest to and nice to people in public so no one thinks lessor of them.

Christian parents think a spanking will solve all of their problems. Their kids tell them that they deserved the spanking and the parent feels vindicated. But few parents realize that they have conditioned the child to respond the parent with nothing other than glowing words towards the parent. The answer that the child gives can't be trusted. Not because the child is untrustworthy, but because they have been conditioned to tell the parent what the parent wants to hear based on past physical domination by the parent.

The answer to the question of "did we do a good job raising you" is how the child acts after they have left the home and are no longer having to be manipulated back into your life. Now then this test won't work if you are a highly manipulative person because you will use manipulation to force your adult child to go to church or come to see you. But if your child goes to church and wants to see you because it is what they want and they are not being manipulated by you in any way then you probably raised them in a decent manner. But if your child only comes to see you because you still give them money, or you say biting comments to them then you won't ever know if you did a good job.

Satan doesn't need to even step in to do damage to the church, Christians are devouring the church from the inside out, leaving only a husk of empty promises and lies where there should be the bread of life. How can any non-believer want what we have when what we have is lies, anger, hypocrisy, hate, and self absorption?

Too many Christians just don't get it. They think that throwing money at the problem or beating their child is enough to make Christianity work. It's not. Loving God and loving others is the most important commandment God ever gave, but few people who present themselves as Christians even come close to following that commandment, even with their own children. They can't stand spending time with their children, wishing them back to school during summer break. They hate the people in need, cursing them instead of helping. They block God at every turn because they sad fact is that they really aren't Christians. They are playing the Christianity Game, but they haven't surrendered anything over to Jesus. They want control over their children and they want to manipulate others. They have no room in their heart to give love openly to people in need. For the church to stop failing people need to stop failing God. They need to actually do the tough job of raising their kids without abusing them. They need to love openly, offering a handout or a step up to those in need.

Fixing the Christian church isn't something that is easy or can be done quickly. There are too many abusive child rearing practices out there. The methods that emphasize total control are failures and we are seeing that today with young adults leaving the church. Too many people in the church are playing god by manipulating others and stabbing them in the back. Only God can step in and help the church recover.